The full moon of May is the time for Vesak, a Buddhist holiday that, in the Theravadan tradition, celebrates the birth, enlightenment, and death of Siddhartha Gotama (who became the Buddha). It is also a time to reflect on what kinds of support exist in your life for spiritual practice and your overall health and development. Taking refuge in the Triple Gem -- Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha -- is encouraged.

But I see another approach to contemplating refuge. Buddhist teachings emphasize training the mind to see change: The impermanence and hence unreliability of experiences. Sometimes this is thrust upon us through life, and other times we encounter it through meditation.
 
As we open deeply to impermanence, there may come a point where finding a reliable refuge comes to the fore. Suddenly the common term "going for refuge" takes on new meaning. We are to seek refuge in Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha, but what does this mean?
 
It's worth noting that the original Pali texts contain few details on what refuge really means. One thing we can notice about it is that it tends to be voluntary; the Buddha does not solicit it, nor does he express approval when a follower spontaneously declares it. Only in the later commentaries is it defined more clearly.
 
This gives us some free reign to consider personally what refuge in Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha means to us. If this sounds like something extra to take on, consider:
 
We are always taking refuge in something – perhaps our job, relationships, body/health, status, etc. So it's not so much a matter of taking on something new, but looking at the quality of the refuge(s) we already have. We're not starting from zero. The first question to ask is, how reliable is your refuge?
 
For myself, I started with some pretty unreliable refuges. As a 30-year-old, I was devoted to my career and also enjoyed my healthy body through being an athlete. None of this was particularly unskillful, but it certainly wasn't reliable.
 
Fortunately, I received a great gift. Through longterm illness, my body was shown to be out of my control, which initially caused confusion and despair – as well as opened my heart to faith and wisdom. The three refuges offered on the path (also called the Triple Gem) are more reliable than the usual things we choose. We can feel this intuitively, especially when the world of experience is bringing pain.
 
A few years later, I had a chance to participate in a formal Refuge Ceremony at a lay Dharma center. I knew I wanted to do it, but could not say quite why. I was amazed at how meaningful the experience was, filling my body with light energy and a deep sense of satisfaction. I knew I was "home" and was doing something really important – more important than I could really comprehend.
 
Over the years, I continue to contemplate the Triple Gem. At this time, I could say of each one:
Buddha: Trusting awareness over story. Opening to mystery.
Dharma: Trusting the process.
Sangha: Those who help illuminate or nurture my sense of trust, sometimes by their mere presence.
 
The subtitle of Sharon Salzberg's book Faith is, "Trusting your own deepest experience." This is the Art of Refuge: Trusting my own deepest understanding, even when there is no confirmation, approval, or even comprehension of it from others. Sometimes it even goes beyond my own comprehension.
 
Walking the Path feels to me like learning to live from this place, and this takes practice. How can we stay in touch with that freedom and still live in the world?
 
Here is a talk I gave on the Refuges in 2015.

We’ve been looking at body, speech, and mind as domains of practice that the Buddha articulated. Of course, the mind is central – we are engaged in “mind training.” The body is only going in one direction – toward decay and death. But the mind/heart can continue to develop to the very end of life.
 
The first two stanzas of the Dhammapada say a lot (Fronsdal translation):
 
All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind.
Speak or act with a corrupted mind, and suffering follows, as the wagon wheel follows the hoof of the ox.
 
All experience is preceded by mind, led by mind, made by mind.
Speak or act with a pure mind, and happiness follows, like a never-departing shadow.
 
A natural question is thus: How to work with the mind? The rest of this post is a summary of realms we may work with in the territory of “mind.” It’s a big topic, and it differs by Buddhist tradition. But even this much is the work of a lifetime.
 
As we’ve noted in the case of the body and speech, there are two broad realms of training: through intentional practices, and through observation. These apply in the mind too. I go into more detail in this talk.
 
Creation of Beneficial Mindstates

• Examining our intention and motivation to practice: This includes remembering the dangers of death, impermanence, illness, and chasing after delusions. It also includes remembering the preciousness of human birth and our beautiful aspirations to realize deep peace, compassion, love, or liberation.
• The Brahma-Viharas. Deliberate practices of the heart: goodwill, compassion, joy, and equanimity.
• Concentration: Learning to gather the mind into a nondistracted state. These states are very pleasant and free up an enormous amount of energy. Discovering this potential in the mind is valuable and it must be well-directed toward the aim of liberation.
• Investigation/Inquiry: Generating the interest to examine the mind. It can be done using specific questions, or in a more wordless way. It provides a segueway into the practice of observing the mind.

 
Observation of the Mind

• The Satipatthana Sutta (MN 10) offers realms and modes of observation in the mind: Feeling tone; the presence and absence of various beneficial and unbeneficial qualities; the arising and passing away of various mindstates.
• We are especially directed toward observing the conditionality of experience.
• This leads to seeing particular qualities of experience more precisely: Impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and emptiness (of inherent existence)

• In my experience, this tends toward a broad awareness in which everything can arise and pass

 
At some point, we start to get a feel for what mental activity itself feels like. Then the mind can move toward relaxing this. Even these “observations” still employ the mental activity of Investigation (which is good – it’s a factor of Awakening – but at some point starts to feel too “active”). And this leads to letting go. In the end, the mind is let go; development is necessary, but is not the final goal.
 
Development of the Mind
 
We tend to go through cycles of intentional development and observation. This can occur in a single sit, when we spend some time getting concentrated or gladdening the mind, and then change to a more open awareness. It also occurs over the months and years of practice. You may feel drawn to developmental practice for a while: concentration, metta, compassion practice, challenging your internal assumptions, strengthening intention, etc. And then at some point, this may seem too active and even agitating, and you begin to settle back and just watch the flow. This may lead to insight – the result of which might very well be the understanding that more needs to be developed.
 
It’s good to trust what you are drawn to in practice. The path of development and the path of letting go are two sides of the same coin. They both lead toward the deep insights of the path that free the heart from the vicissitudes of the outer and inner worlds. Fully freeing the heart will probably take both a lot of development and a lot of observation and letting go.
 
All of this is not to diminish the role of the body and speech in practice. Those who try to ignore these two realms (or simply "transcend" them) are in for a rough ride: We must ultimately have an integrated development of all aspects of our being. Getting into alignment is much of the path. May your practice be multidimensional.