Wanting to be Free
One day, I was surprised to see some newly forming buds on an orchid I received about a year and a half earlier. The flowers that were blooming at that time fell off within a few months. I realized that the surprise was because I had no sense that they would come. Past experience shows that I don’t have a natural “green thumb,” and I had never worked with a supposedly delicate plant like an orchid. I had no thoughts or wishes about new flowers.
But, I had dutifully watered the plant about every 2 weeks, kept the temperature stable, and situated it in indirect light. Apparently the conditions were appropriate for the reblooming of the orchid. My wishes, of course, have nothing to do with that.
As with the orchid, our practice progresses because conditions are fulfilled, not simply through wishing. It is a lawful process like others in nature. In AN 7.71 (Bhikkhu Bodhi’s translation), the Buddha offers the analogy of a hen incubating her eggs. If the hen does not keep them properly warm and nurtured, then even if she forms the wish, “May my chicks pierce their shells… and hatch safely!” the chicks are incapable of doing so. In the same way, if a practitioner wishes for her mind to be free of defilements but does not practice, there is no way for the wish to be fulfilled.
Conversely, if the hen does properly care for her eggs, the chicks will certainly hatch safely, regardless of whether she forms a wish for them to do so. And if a meditator is “intent on development,” and undertakes the proper mental trainings, she does not need to wish for her mind to be liberated – it will surely happen. What matters is fulfilling the conditions.
This teaching helps undermine two tendencies we can fall into regarding our practice: First is the laziness of wishful thinking. We can all think of times when we idly hoped for something, but didn’t really do what is necessary for it to come about. The second trap is more subtle: The tendency to think that the practice will somehow not work for us – maybe for other people, but not for me. This is an aspect of doubt. If it arises in your mind, please recognize it as such, and continue to practice; this training will surely “work” for your mind also.
However, this teaching is not the only relevant one for how to relate to your practice. On numerous occasions, the Buddha stressed the importance of effort and the skillful desire to purify and liberate the mind. In fact, no spiritual tradition says that liberation happens without any effort or intention.
So we can also say: You do have to want it. This practice is too challenging to undertake and continue without a deep underlying desire for freedom. (The few people who apparently awaken spontaneously notwithstanding).
In SN 45.51, the Buddha says that just as the dawn is the forerunner and precursor to the rising of the sun, so “accomplishment in desire” (chanda-sampadā) is the forerunner and precursor to the arising of the path. We can interpret this kind of desire to be interest, passion, and engagement with the teachings and practice – being willing to dive in and keep at it. Wanting to develop wholesome qualities and the wisdom that frees.
Are these teachings inconsistent? Not at all. The second sutta also uses a nature image that indicates certainty and lawfulness. The pink and steadily brightening sky is a sure indication that the sun will appear. Energy and engagement with practice – and the “desire” they are founded upon – are sure indications that the path will arise (just as surely as the chicks will hatch). Effort will not be fruitless. Just as there are conditions for the proper incubation of eggs, there are conditions for proper practice, and some kind of desire, enthusiasm, or interest is part of those conditions. This is different than idly wishing for liberation to just happen.
Sometimes people worry about having desires like this. “If I want liberation, isn’t that the cause of suffering?” (As in the Second Noble Truth). No, we will need to have many desires along our spiritual journey. It is skillful to want the mind to be free, and also to want to help others. Practice gives us a more nuanced understanding of desire, such as the wisdom to know which desires are useful and when to let go of certain desires.
Early in my practice, I asked my teacher this question also – what about having the desire to be free? He smiled and said, “Oh, you can have that desire, Kim – until it’s the last one.”
One day, I was surprised to see some newly forming buds on an orchid I received about a year and a half earlier. The flowers that were blooming at that time fell off within a few months. I realized that the surprise was because I had no sense that they would come. Past experience shows that I don’t have a natural “green thumb,” and I had never worked with a supposedly delicate plant like an orchid. I had no thoughts or wishes about new flowers.
But, I had dutifully watered the plant about every 2 weeks, kept the temperature stable, and situated it in indirect light. Apparently the conditions were appropriate for the reblooming of the orchid. My wishes, of course, have nothing to do with that.
As with the orchid, our practice progresses because conditions are fulfilled, not simply through wishing. It is a lawful process like others in nature. In AN 7.71 (Bhikkhu Bodhi’s translation), the Buddha offers the analogy of a hen incubating her eggs. If the hen does not keep them properly warm and nurtured, then even if she forms the wish, “May my chicks pierce their shells… and hatch safely!” the chicks are incapable of doing so. In the same way, if a practitioner wishes for her mind to be free of defilements but does not practice, there is no way for the wish to be fulfilled.
Conversely, if the hen does properly care for her eggs, the chicks will certainly hatch safely, regardless of whether she forms a wish for them to do so. And if a meditator is “intent on development,” and undertakes the proper mental trainings, she does not need to wish for her mind to be liberated – it will surely happen. What matters is fulfilling the conditions.
This teaching helps undermine two tendencies we can fall into regarding our practice: First is the laziness of wishful thinking. We can all think of times when we idly hoped for something, but didn’t really do what is necessary for it to come about. The second trap is more subtle: The tendency to think that the practice will somehow not work for us – maybe for other people, but not for me. This is an aspect of doubt. If it arises in your mind, please recognize it as such, and continue to practice; this training will surely “work” for your mind also.
However, this teaching is not the only relevant one for how to relate to your practice. On numerous occasions, the Buddha stressed the importance of effort and the skillful desire to purify and liberate the mind. In fact, no spiritual tradition says that liberation happens without any effort or intention.
So we can also say: You do have to want it. This practice is too challenging to undertake and continue without a deep underlying desire for freedom. (The few people who apparently awaken spontaneously notwithstanding).
In SN 45.51, the Buddha says that just as the dawn is the forerunner and precursor to the rising of the sun, so “accomplishment in desire” (chanda-sampadā) is the forerunner and precursor to the arising of the path. We can interpret this kind of desire to be interest, passion, and engagement with the teachings and practice – being willing to dive in and keep at it. Wanting to develop wholesome qualities and the wisdom that frees.
Are these teachings inconsistent? Not at all. The second sutta also uses a nature image that indicates certainty and lawfulness. The pink and steadily brightening sky is a sure indication that the sun will appear. Energy and engagement with practice – and the “desire” they are founded upon – are sure indications that the path will arise (just as surely as the chicks will hatch). Effort will not be fruitless. Just as there are conditions for the proper incubation of eggs, there are conditions for proper practice, and some kind of desire, enthusiasm, or interest is part of those conditions. This is different than idly wishing for liberation to just happen.
Sometimes people worry about having desires like this. “If I want liberation, isn’t that the cause of suffering?” (As in the Second Noble Truth). No, we will need to have many desires along our spiritual journey. It is skillful to want the mind to be free, and also to want to help others. Practice gives us a more nuanced understanding of desire, such as the wisdom to know which desires are useful and when to let go of certain desires.
Early in my practice, I asked my teacher this question also – what about having the desire to be free? He smiled and said, “Oh, you can have that desire, Kim – until it’s the last one.”